Dignity, Kindness, and Self-Reflection

Today we went to the Little Rock Central High School, the National Civil Rights Museum at the Lorraine Motel, and Beale Street. Beale Street was mostly just a fun time, and I didn’t feel like I had time to get enough out of the museum, so—although I should definitely go back because they have a lot of information, emotionally charged exhibits (the murder weapon that shot MLK, his hotel room, the milers room...), and a section on a time period I never learned about—I want to focus on Central High. At Little Rock we went on a tour and met with Dr. Sybil Hampton, the first black student to attend Central High for all three years and graduate. During her time there, she was made to feel invisible by the fact that no one acknowledged her at all—not even to make eye contact. That’s almost worse than outright violence, because at least violence acknowledged you as a person and you have something concrete to fight against. Dr. Hampton told us that for years she felt anger—and worse than anger about her treatment for those three years. However during her whole talk she impressed me with her dignity and pacifism. She commanded respect even while she joked and talked with us, freely admitting the issues she struggles with today. I was also impressed by her sincere desire to recognize and appreciate everyone. I lost my notebook and so I unfortunately do not have any quotes to share, but I identified very strongly with the ideas she put forth and I felt that she had the attitude I would strive for: to feel her anger when she feels it and then let it go and give everyone the benefit of her doubt and her cordiality. I hope I can be as strong as she was and come out of it still full of love. I tried to take to heart her biggest piece of advice: be kind. Not just to my friends, but also to total strangers, people who go unacknowledged at school, and and my enemies.

Something else I noticed while we were at Central was it’s continued segregation, not in name but in practice. Now, this may be no different from any other school in the country, but it presented a strange contrast when we were on a tour about the famous integration. The tour guide pointed out how the school was desegregated, but all I could see was that even if there were equal numbers of black and white kids, friend groups and pairs appeared to be black with black and white with white. (I didn’t see any other POC while I was there). This inspired me to think back to my own school experiences. In the 6 schools I’ve been to I notice that I’ve always had white friends, even if I was one of an extreme minority. It’s not that I haven’t been friends with everyone to a greater or lesser extent, but it does make me realize how much appearance is still a determining factor in friendship. We all like to be with people who share similarities to us, and this clearly still includes race. There are other, very different biases I’ve found too. I’m not as bias-free as I used to think I was—and I imagine most people who went with me this week would say the same thing. This trip has made me confront my beliefs, question them, rewrite some, and strengthen all. I want to bring up once more the idea that willful ignorance is among the most dangerous issues. By avoiding confronting ourselves and our communities, we are deliberately keeping ourselves ignorant about the issues within. Then they are allowed to run their course without being (widely) challenged, just as segregation was for so long. I wish everyone at Park would get out of their comfort zone and confront their self as we all did this week. I freely admit here that I have prejudices I was afraid to see before because I didn’t want to think of myself as being in the wrong. In the future I am going to work to be more self-aware and to constantly challenge myself and my beliefs and opinions. The simple question, “Why do I think that?” can be powerful. I also want to look at the Park community to see where our much-vaunted values and beliefs conceal implicit biases or are not carried out. What are we proud of in our school’s tradition? What does that say about the school? What are we doing about it (positive or negative)? What about beyond the school into my broader community? What about the whole country? What about the world?